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Manners at a Meeting Place

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Abu saeedil khudri says, I heard the prophet saying: “The best of meetings is the most spacious of them" (Abu Davood-4820). Abdullah bin Umar (May Allah Mercy upon him) reports. Prophet (Peace be upon him) declared, “None of you should make another stand from his seat to sit there for himself. But you make it convenient and spacious". The reporter of this Hadîth never used to sit in a place where from another one stood for him (Bukhari-6229,Sahih Muslim 2177).
Abdullah bin Amr (R) reports as prophet said, it is not permissible for anyone to sit between tow who are sitting together and separate them, unless they allow it (Abu Davood 4824, Thurmudi 2753).
 
Abu Huraira (R) reports “The messenger of Allah said: If one of you stood from his seat and returned to the same seat he is the most deserving on to that seat" (Muslim 2179).


Meeting place should be spacious according to the need for which it is held. It should be spacious enough to accommodate all the participants who are expected to attend it. If it is a thickly packed on, the matters cannot be discussed or listened to. It will be compelled to rearrange the meeting place constantly for the late comers or for those who come in the middle of the meeting, if it is not specious enough. It will mar the beauty of meeting as well as it is a nuisance to the audience. Moreover, if on has to go outside from a thickly packed meeting during the function, it is not possible without creating nuisance. Hence the most appropriate is a spacious meeting place. So prophet (s) declared that the best of meeting place is the most spacious one.


Even if the meeting place is spacious enough somebody may come quiet unexpectedly to attend it. Then the audience should try to accommodate him by making adjustment as much as possible. This is a part of friendship and respectability. Above all it is a token of true-faith. It is not desirable for a Muslim if he gets a seat, to disregard


those who come late without being ready for any adjustment. The narrow mindedness of attempting to show the gaps are filled thinking that if somebody sits in the gap that will hinder his comfortable sitting, is highly despicable.


The holy Quran says: “Oh, believers, if you are told to make space in the meeting place, make space. Then Allah will al so make space for you. And if you are told to hasten good deeds then hasten to them. Then Allah will raise the believers and those who are given knowledge from among you to different ranks. Allah knows well about what you do" (58:11).


When one comes to a meeting place he has to say Salaam to the audience. Again it is a desirable when one leaves a meeting. Prophet (PBH) said: “If one of you reaches a meeting place he has to say 'salam' And if he wishes to leave it he has to say 'salam' again. The first one is not more deserving than the second one".(both are of the same importance)-(Abu Davood.5208,Thurmudi.2707).


Saying 'Salam' at the time of departure is a reason for getting one's own share in all good activities which take place in his absentia when he is compelled to leave a meeting early. Let's see the advice given to Muaviyath bin Qurra by his father “My little son if you attend a meeting expecting virtue and then you are compelled to leave it early for a need then leave it saying 'salam to you'. So you can also get a share of virtue that others get from it" (Al Adabul Mufrad- 148).


If there are those who deserve 'salam' and those who not in a meeting it is permissible to say salam to the audience as a whole intending those who deserve it. Once prophet (PBH) happened to go beside a gathering including Muslims, jews and polytheists worshiping idols. Then he told 'salam' to that gathering (Bukhari 2987 Muslim 1798). If a meeting is too big to make all its members hear a single 'salam' then salam canbe told to those who are seen first. If he takes his seat with them that salam is enough.But if he moves forward and takes his seat with another group 'salam' should be told to them also. Anas (R) says. “If prophet approached a community he would tell them salam three times" (Bukhari).


Salam cannot be said to any gathering at any time. It is not recommended to say salam to those who drink or eat. It is also not desirable to those who are engaged in the prayer, sujud, thalbiyath of Hajj or Umrah, Adhan, Iqamath and Jumua Khuthuba and to those who listen to khuthuba. Like that saying salam is not recommended to one who is indulged in prayer and to one who recites Quran thinking deeply its meaning (Thuhfa:9/228).


Even though saying salam to teacher and students is recommended, it is not so when they are engaged in their work, if saying salam will create problem to them (Sharvani 9/228). It is 'disliked action' to say salam to some members only in a group (Ibid 9/228).


If one saw an auspicious meeting he should sit there without neglecting it or keeping away from it due to shyness. When prophet(s) was sitting in his Masjid along with the people three men came. One of them went away without coming to the gathering. One of the remaining two sat in a gap he found in the gathering and the other one stood behind it. When the prophet resigned from his topic said: “May I tell you about these three? One of them took refuge in Allah. So Allah gave him refuge. The other one stood behind due to shyness. So Allah also became shy about him. The other one turned back. So Allah also turned back (Bukhari, Muslim).


It is not permissible to make somebody stand from his seat to sit there and to sit between two without their permission. It is also not desirable to try to sit in the middle of a gathering. Hudaifa (R) has reported that the prophet (s) has cursed those who try to sit in the middle of a gathering. It is not allowed to hold a meeting on the way so as to create trouble to the travelers. Roads and ways are for passengers. It is permitted to sit there for taking rest or business without making any trouble to the travelers (Thuhfa 6/216).


The right to use a place is for one who has secured it already. If two persons reach at a place at the same time and they argued for the seat, the problem can be solved by drawing a lot. If one secured a seat for momentary need, like for rest his right over the seat will lose as soon as he leaves the place. If one secured a place for business or job his right over the place will be lost when he forsakes the job or change the place. If one leaves a place temporarily he will have the right over the place when he returns. He will lose the right only when he forsakes the place or when his departure lasts for a long time (Thuhfa:6/218).


If one is used to hold a place in mosque for issuing fatwa or teaching Qur'an or providing religions study he will have the right to use that place (Thuhfa:6/219). If one used a place in mosque for reciting the Qur'an, Dhikr , performing the prayer , etc which are useful to himself only, he will have the right over the place until he become free from that particular type of worship. If he goes out for a need he will have the priority to use that place for that particular type of worship. There for it is forbidden (Haram) for one who knows the man's right over the place to sit there without his permission or without expecting his contentment. But, if the time for the prayer comes and the lines for it are established and the man does not return the gap can be filled. The right over the place secured for personal worship will lose unconditionally if one leaves the place without any reason or with reason but having no intention of returning (Thuhfa:6/219-222).


If one attended a meeting he should not report all the matters he saw or heard there indiscriminately. The matters which are secret or indecent should not be reported as it is not suitable to one's credibility. The teaching of prophet is that one who attends a meeting should be reliable. However, if one happens to hear a decision which is unfavorable to the society or an individual and he understands that it will bring about dangers unless he report it, the he should report it. For example a secret decision is taken in a meeting to kill one unjustly or to fornicate a lady or to capture a man's wealth. It is not against honesty to bulge out these seeing that they will happen unless he does so. Prophet (s) says: 'The quality of meetings depend on the honesty of those who attend them. Except three meetings; a meeting which decided to shed the forbidden blood, a meeting which decided for adultery and a meeting which decided to capture a man's wealth unjustly (Abu Davud).


Knowingly or unknowingly undesirable talk or improper actions may happen quiet often in a meeting. The meeting can be dispersed only after redeeming them. The redemption is reciting Dikr or Swalath or both.


Prophet (PBH) says: “One sat at a place. And if he left the place without praising Allah he will have, surely, blame from Allah “(Abu Davood-4835)". If a group of people sat in a meeting and they left it without reciting Dhikr to Allah and Swalath on their prophet they would, surely, have its blameful consequence. If He(Allah) intends, he will punish them and if He intends he will forgive them (Thurmudi).

 
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